So, I have been thinking about this topic a lot recently. For the past year in fact. I have been single for about a year. After you get out of a relationship it is refreshing to be single again, but after awhile you just think enough is enough.
Well, everybody seems to be bringing this topic up. Whether they are a new couple, a recently ended couple, or just tired of being single. I do not care if anybody reads this or not, but I would like to discuss it.
So, my last relationship was...uhm...yea :P it was a...new experience for me. This is the first legit relationship I had been in. As it turns out, I cannot handle relationships well. I ended up getting extreme anxiety and almost had to go to the E.R. I threw up pretty much everything for a week and hardly ate for like 2 months. Plus, my view of relationships it totally screwed up. I kind of see relationships as something people do to make life go a little smoother. Let’s get real here, i want a boyfriend, but honestly, we are still young. The people we date now are not "the one" or whatever, but then again i do not wish to be married or procreate :P yes I know, very un-Christian.
So, i guess to sum this up, I do want a relationship, but i am afraid to have one. I over analyze things and think I am too depressing to be a good girlfriend. The whole topic of relationships just depresses me. I always feel like i will ruin whatever relationship i am in. I am extremely fragile and I am just afraid. I am just afraid of what is unknown and of disappointing people.
Well, everybody seems to be bringing this topic up. Whether they are a new couple, a recently ended couple, or just tired of being single. I do not care if anybody reads this or not, but I would like to discuss it.
So, my last relationship was...uhm...yea :P it was a...new experience for me. This is the first legit relationship I had been in. As it turns out, I cannot handle relationships well. I ended up getting extreme anxiety and almost had to go to the E.R. I threw up pretty much everything for a week and hardly ate for like 2 months. Plus, my view of relationships it totally screwed up. I kind of see relationships as something people do to make life go a little smoother. Let’s get real here, i want a boyfriend, but honestly, we are still young. The people we date now are not "the one" or whatever, but then again i do not wish to be married or procreate :P yes I know, very un-Christian.
So, i guess to sum this up, I do want a relationship, but i am afraid to have one. I over analyze things and think I am too depressing to be a good girlfriend. The whole topic of relationships just depresses me. I always feel like i will ruin whatever relationship i am in. I am extremely fragile and I am just afraid. I am just afraid of what is unknown and of disappointing people.
Peace,
Lolo ツ
Lolo ツ
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